An Error In Judgement
by pupeez4eva
Summary: Wherein Sasuke thinks Naruto likes Gaara, Naruto thinks Sasuke likes Sakura, and they both really like each other. Chaos ensues when the two devise a series of plots to win each other over. SasuNaru, Modern!AU
1. Chapter 1

**AN:**

 **Before you start reading, I just want to let you know that this fic is part of my Modern AU series, which includes the fics "The Woes of a Matchmaker" and "The Woes of a Father". This fic is set before the events of "The Woes of a Matchmaker."**

 **However, you do not need prior knowledge of these fics to understand this one.**

 **Enjoy :)**

 **...**

Konoha High — a warm, friendly, inclusive environment, dedicated to furthering and strengthening the minds and lives of their students. A place where respectful families sent their smart, respectful kids; where their dedicated and highly qualified teachers worked to their full potential to turn said respectful kids into respectful adults.

A place that Principal Hiruzen Sarutobi loved so much that he'd spent the majority of his life here — starting as a student himself, then becoming a teacher, and finally, the headmaster. A place that Vice Principal, Danzo Shimura, watched over with a fond eye, grateful for the opportunity to have a key role in such a warm, immersive community.

That was what they sold all the students, and the families of said students, and Sasuke knew it was utter bullshit. This place was basically an insane asylum masquerading as a school, and the only reason Danzo paid them any attention was a) to attack the moment anyone stepped out of line, and b) the hope that Hiruzen would one day retire, leaving him to rule the school with an iron fist.

Right now he and Naruto were sitting in the Principal's office, with Danzo shooting them a look of pure loathing, while Hiruzen stared at them with a mixture of disbelief and exasperation.

Frankly, Sasuke didn't know why he was so surprised. Things like this happened all the time, and by this point, the man should have been used to it. Sure, the morning assembly had been interrupted, there had been a bit of chaos, a bit of scuffling — but that wasn't the worst thing that had ever happened around here, and in Sasuke's opinion, they should just get over it.

(Because right now he _really_ wanted to get out of here. He had to talk to Naruto, now preferably, because _shit_ , they had a lot to talk about. And then he'd go and grab an ice pack from the nurse's office, because Naruto punched _hard_ , and Sasuke was pretty sure his cheek was swelling up).

Hiruzen sighed. "Boys, what you did was very — "

"Yes, but there's a good explanation, Jiji!"

Naruto, unlike Sasuke, didn't seem bothered enough by this whole situation. Maybe because he'd spent quite a bit of time in this office, what with the Principal being a close family friend and surrogate grandfather figure.

Hiruzen frowned. "Naruto, it's Mr. Sarutobi when we're at school."

"Sure thing Jiji!" Naruto nodded his head enthusiastically, while the older man sighed in exasperation. "But honestly, there is a _really_ good explanation!"

"They need to be taught a lesson for this!" Danzo snapped. "I'm considering suspension — "

"What," Sasuke said flatly. _Suspension_? Really? Sure, what they had done wasn't exactly in line with school rules, but this was taking it a bit far.

 _"Suspension?!"_ Naruto exclaimed, his eyes widening. "Whoa, hold it old man! I'm telling you, there is a _really_ good reason for all of this — " He paused, frowning slightly. "…At least _I_ have a good reason. I'm not sure what the teme was doing."

Sasuke glanced at him. "I thought it was pretty clear what I was doing, dobe."

Sure, there were a lot of things they still had to talk about. And maybe it wouldn't go well — considering Sasuke's luck, there was about a 90% chance of all of this going to utter shit, and him spending the rest of the weekend brooding in his bedroom, and binging on chocolate ice cream.

On the bright side, that would mean extra attention from Itachi, since his big brother always hovered like a worried mother hen whenever Sasuke was upset. And Sasuke could never say no to quality time with his beloved big brother.

On the not-so-bright (devastating, horrible, mind-numbingly painful) side…well, he didn't want to think about that just yet.

"Well, I like that you kissed me," Naruto said, and Sasuke's mind short circuited. "Although I'm a bit confused, since I thought you were with Sakura — "

"Wait, _what?"_

Naruto thought _what?_ And he liked — he liked —

…And again, he thought _what?_

Naruto sighed. "You and Sakura? What, teme, you think I don't know?" He paused, and scowled. "By the way, that was a really shitty thing of you to do. I mean, yeah, I liked it, but Sakura's a really cool girl! I woulda totally asked her out…you know, if I liked girls. So what the hell, teme?"

"What are you _talking about?"_ And there was more than a little desperation in his voice, because not for the first time, Sasuke felt that he and Naruto were on completely different pages.

"Enough of this!" Danzo yelled, and Sasuke twitched. "We need to call their parents, and have them face an appropriate punishment!"

Hiruzen sighed. "Naruto," he said, "you said you have an explanation for this. So…explain. Please." He sounded exhausted.

Naruto hesitated, and then nodded. "Yeah. Fine. So it started like this — "

...

"Sooo, what do you think?" Naruto gave Gaara a bright smile, and was rewarded with a blank stare. He added 'make Gaara smile more' on to his to-do list. He was sure he could do it. After all, Gaara had hated all form of human contact before this, and now look at him! He was the life of the party.

…Sort of. They still had more work to do. But he would _totally_ help his friend, believe it!

"It was fun," Gaara said flatly, and Naruto inwardly cheered. _Yeah,_ score for him! This was going great. Everyone had said that Gaara was a creep with no friends, but now he was…well, still a creep, but a creep with _friends._

(Sort of. Well, he had one friend anyway. But again, they were working on that).

"See?" Naruto grinned, and nudged Gaara's shoulder. "I told you you'd love it!"

Gaara ducked his head slightly. "You weren't incorrect."

"Nope," Naruto agreed. "Fantasy Roleplay Club rocks! We get to pretend to be magical demon ninjas — "

"Yes, who came up with that concept?"

Naruto shrugged. "Oh, well, Bee wanted superpowers, and Yugito wanted demons, and I wanted ninjas, so we combined all of those ideas and become ninjas with superpowers and demons living inside us! How cool is _that?"_

Gaara considered this for a moment, and then nodded his head. Naruto grinned. Yeah, Fantasy Roleplay Club was the best. He'd come up with the idea at the beginning of the year. He'd tried to get Sasuke to join, but his friend had just rolled his eyes and called him an idiot. Well. It wasn't like he wanted the teme to join anyway.

Well…most of his friends hadn't wanted to join. But he'd found some people eventually, and that just meant that he'd made even more friends, so he was totally fine with that.

"So, wanna go and get some…" His voice trailed off.

"Naruto?"

"Uh, ramen? Want to get some ramen?"

Gaara shook his head. "I have to go see Ms. Yuhi about that art project." His brow furrowed. "What are you looking at?"

"Nothing!" Naruto yelped, but Gaara had already followed his line of vision. The red-head stared at Sasuke and Sakura, looking even more confused than before.

"Aren't those your friends?"

"Yup!" Naruto grinned widely, and tried to ignore how strained that smile felt. "Yeah, that's Sakura and the teme, alright. I'm, uh, going to go talk to them. See you later!"

Gaara gave him a small nod, and walked off.

Naruto shot a quick glance at Sasuke and Sakura, and then hurried off in the opposite direction. Yeah, no way was he going anywhere _near_ that. He wasn't an idiot, no matter _what_ Sasuke said. His best friend may not have said anything, but he'd been spending so much time with Sakura lately. Sasuke didn't spent that much time with anyone (well except for him and Itachi). It didn't take too long to reach the obvious conclusion, that Sasuke and Sakura were dating.

Naruto was cool with that. He was completely and totally cool with that.

…Or he would be. Eventually. He just needed some time. And the teme sucked anyway, so Naruto didn't think it would be that hard. He just had to remind himself of all the things that made Sasuke a bastard, and then he would _definitely_ be over him. And then he'd find someone way cooler to date, like — like —

Well he'd worry about that later. None of it was important anyway. He was feeling things for Sasuke that he _really_ shouldn't be, because Sasuke sucked. Yeah, okay, he was his best friend. But he was still a bastard, and he was probably using his bastardly powers to brainwash Naruto into liking him.

Well, no _way_ was he falling for that! Sasuke and Sakura could date, and Naruto would…eventually…tell them how happy he was for them.

...

"If you use the word 'bastard' _one_ more time, I will be extending your suspension!"

Sasuke ignored Danzo, and stared at Naruto in shock.

"Did you just — _what?_ You — you thought — me and _Sakura?!"_

Oh god. Oh god, _what?_ Okay, Sakura may not have been completely awful these days, but for God's sake, she'd been a fangirl, and — _no._ Just no.

"Well yeah," Naruto said, nodding.

"…She's with Ino."

"Would you two _focus?!"_ Danzo roared, while Hiruzen sighed tiredly, and rubbed his fingers on his forehead in circular motions.

Both teens ignored him.

"Well yeah," Naruto said, "she is with Ino a lot, but that's because they're best friends."

Oh god. "She's _dating_ Ino!"

"Oh my god, I _knew_ it!"

Sasuke seriously shouldn't have been surprised that there was now a small crowd of his teachers gathered at the doorway. Seriously, if it wasn't for the few people he actually liked in this school — Naruto, his brother…okay yeah, that was it — he would have convinced his parents to transfer him years ago.

The teachers — Anko Mitarashi, Kurenai Yuhi, Asuma Sarutobi and Gai Maito — looked unashamed at being caught eavesdropping. Sasuke heard Hiruzen murmur, "Oh dear Lord," and Danzo's frantic pacing seemed to have increased.

Well, at least he wasn't the only one suffering.

"What are you all doing here?" Naruto asked, staring at them in confusion.

"Oh, for God's sake Hiruzen!" Danzo snapped. "Just suspend those boys, so we can — "

"Shh!" Gai said, his eyes shining in that usual (and frankly creepy) way of his. "They are discussing true love right now! How youthful! How — "

Hiruzen turned to Naruto. "Please, hurry this up," he said, with a note of desperation in his voice. "And Naruto, we really don't need to know all of this. Just…explain what happened at the assembly."

"Wait," Sasuke said, and turned to Naruto. "Dobe….I never liked Sakura that way. We aren't dating. I was…she was trying to…" He flushed, and glanced away.

Behind him, the four teachers leaned in closer, while Danzo stared at him with loathing.

...

Sasuke will never admit this aloud, but he spent the first year of elementary school having nightmares about Sakura Haruno. The girl was tiny, pink-haired, and completely terrifying. The word fangirl had become synonymous with things like ghosts, and monsters, and the boogyman. And of all those fangirls — because God, there'd been a lot of them — Sakura had been the worst.

She'd gotten better over the years. Become gradually less-obsessive, found herself a girlfriend (something Sasuke still couldn't wrap his head around)…and with these changes, she'd become…somewhat tolerable.

(Of course, she'd also gotten rid of another of his fangirls, what with Ino Yamanaka, Creepy Fangirl no.2, becoming her girlfriend. So, for that, Sasuke was sure he could at least attempt to forgive her for those first few terrible years).

But recently, Sasuke was starting to realise that there was another side of Sakura, less frustrating than the fangirling, but still pretty damn awful.

She'd become a…different sort of fangirl. One that apparently longed to see him and _Naruto_ of all people together.

Sasuke would have been way more forceful in his requests for her to leave ("Sakura, for fucks sake, _get out of here"_ ) if he had been more opposed to the idea.

That did _not_ mean he wanted her around though, constantly bringing it up. Because yeah, maybe he sort of liked Naruto more than a friend. But it wasn't like Naruto reciprocated those feelings, and it wasn't like Sasuke couldn't deal with this himself.

Sasuke tried his best to ignore the pink haired girl sitting on the table across from him, but it was getting way too hard. She'd cornered him at lunchtime, and now she just wouldn't shut up. While it usually would have been easy to block her out, it was kind of hard to ignore this line of conversation.

"Okay," she said, "obviously, it's my job, as your friend, to help you out."

Dammit, she was supposed to be less annoying now that she wasn't a fangirl anymore.

"So — this is what's going to happen. I'm going to — "

"Sakura."

" — help you win Naruto over!"

Oh god, he needed to leave. Now.

"No," he said flatly, as his eyes flittered around, looking for the nearest escape route. The library was close by — he briefly considered coming up with an excuse, but then decided he really didn't care either way. He'd just get up and leave, and then —

"You're not leaving," Sakura said cheerily, and Sasuke inwardly winced. "You like Naruto. It's obvious, because you keep staring at him."

"He's an idiot," Sasuke muttered.

"True, but he's also a pretty great guy, and you _like_ him. You're also not doing anything about it, so I feel the need to step in. And don't say that you're not interested in him, because it'd be more convincing if you were actually looking at _me_ when you said it."

Sasuke grimaced, and looked away from where he'd been staring at Naruto. At Naruto and _Gaara._

(He blamed Sakura for this. He'd done a pretty great job of blocking out thoughts of Gaara and Naruto, and Naruto and Gaara, and thoughts of them spending quality time together — ugh. No).

"Hmm?" Sakura looked thoughtful. "If you _really_ aren't interested, I suppose Naruto and Gaara wouldn't be terrible…"

Sasuke's eye twitched.

"In fact, maybe I'll go and talk to them…"

Sasuke ignored her, and stared pointedly at Naruto and Gaara. Naruto leaned over and whispered something to Gaara, who…well, he didn't smile, because Sasuke didn't think Gaara even knew how to smile, but he was sure he saw the red-head's lip twitch. His eyes narrowed. Dammit, what was Naruto _doing?_

"Okay fine," he said, "what do you want?"

Sakura grinned, a little too enthusiastically. Sasuke was instantly reminded of a much younger Sakura, his self-proclaimed number one fan, and he shuddered.

"Oh, this is going to be _good,"_ she said. "Trust me Sasuke, I know what I'm doing."

...

As desperately as Sasuke wanted to tell her to go away, and go back to enjoying his lunch in peace and quiet, there were a few things that stopped him from doing this.

Firstly, Naruto and Gaara had been spending an awful lot of time together lately. Gaara, who had transferred in from Suna Academy earlier that year, had soon taken the title of the school psychopath. He was weird, creepy, and more antisocial than Sasuke, which was saying something.

Of course, despite these traits (or maybe because of them) Naruto had latched on. And now, they were…something. Sasuke wasn't sure _what_ but whatever it was, Naruto was now spending a lot of time with Gaara, and Gaara looked slightly less homicidal.

Secondly, there was a very real possibility that they were dating. After all, as much as Sasuke loved Naruto, the guy was insane, and dating a guy like Gaara would be just the type of thing he'd do.

Lastly…Sasuke _did not want Naruto dating Gaara._ If Naruto was going to date anyone, he wanted it to be him.

( _Goddammit_ ).

...

As expected, Sakura's matchmaking advice ended in failure. If Sasuke was feeling more generous he would have admitted that it hadn't all been bad.

He wasn't feeling generous though, and _most_ of it had been bad, so he was sticking by his view that this was all her fault.

...

Plan 1 — "Be _nicer_. You're really good looking, but you can be a bit of an arse at times."

"You spent the first few years of school obsessed with me," Sasuke said flatly.

"You're also conceited," Sakura said, frowning thoughtfully.

Sasuke stared in disbelief.

Sakura sighed. "Look, Naruto is all bubbly, and happy, and hyper all the time, right? And while opposites definitely attract, I don't think they attract _that_ much."

"Gaara and Naruto?"

"…Fair point." Sakura pursed her lips, looking thoughtful. "Just…be nicer. And compliment him more."

Sasuke frowned. "Compliment him?"

Sakura nodded. "Yeah, you know, something like — hey Naruto, cool jumpsuit!"

"No," Sasuke said flatly. "That thing is hideous. I'm not encouraging him."

"Okay fine, how about you tell him he has nice hair."

"His hair is a ridiculous shade of yellow."

Sakura's eye twitched. "Then, just, I don't know…compliment his lunch or something!"

Sasuke gave her a flat look. "Sakura — he eats _ramen_ on a daily basis."

"Oh my _God_ Sasuke, just be _nice!"_

 _..._

"How did it go?" Sakura asked cheerily, sitting down next to him. Sasuke ignored her, and took another bite of his sandwich, chewing slowly.

She continued to stare at him. Remembering just how persistent Sakura could be, Sasuke sighed, and turned back to her.

"I told him I liked his jumpsuit."

Sakura beamed. "And? It worked didn't it? I bet he was so surprised — "

"He called me a bastard, told me I looked emo, and asked if he could borrow some money to buy ramen for lunch."

"Uh…" Sakura's mouth opened and closed. "That's…uh…the ramen thing, was it a date?"

"No."

"…Oh." She looked genuinely confused. "And…he didn't notice a difference _at all?"_

Sasuke shrugged, and took another bite of his sandwich. He chewed, swallowed. "I think he thought I was being sarcastic."

"Well, did you _sound_ sarcastic?"

Sasuke shrugged again.

Sakura groaned. "This is going to take some serious work."

 **…**

 **AN:**

 **Hey guys! So yeah, this is the 3rd story in my Modern AU series. It's going to have 4 chapters in total, so hopefully you enjoy this! Tell me what you think!**


	2. Chapter 2

Plan 2 - "Defend his honour! Someone is going to insult that disgusting jumpsuit of his, and you're going to jump to his defence, and tell that asshole just how wrong they are!"

"They wouldn't be wrong," Sasuke said flatly. "That thing _is_ disgusting."

Sakura's eyes narrowed. She had ambushed him by his locker, and was now leaning against it (and preventing any chance of escaping, since he still needed to grab his biology book. "I know that, but you know what, Sasuke? Relationships are about compromise. So just _deal_ _with_ _it."_

Sasuke's jaw clenched. "Maybe I should just — "

"What, do this yourself?" Sakura snorted. _"Please."_

"…You were a lot nicer when we started this."

"Sasuke, it's been a week!"

And okay, fine, he'd been putting this off for a while. But this was his _life_ dammit, and it wasn't like he really needed Sakura anyway. If she was going to stand around and complain as if this was somehow an inconvenience to her, then Sasuke was going to turn around and leave. He didn't need this.

(And he _could_ be nice when he wanted to, dammit. Just ask his brother).

Sakura sighed. "Look, just do it, okay? Me and Ino will take care of the hard stuff. You just need to show up, and be all cute and chivalrous, okay?"

Sasuke never thought there'd be a day when he'd _miss_ crazy-fangirl-Sakura.

"Fine," he said.

 _'Seriously though, it's not too late to back out.'_

 _..._

If Sasuke had known exactly _who_ Sakura was recruiting to help in this insane (again _why_ was he going along with this?) plan, he probably would have walked away, and ceased all contact with her. Who cared if he liked Naruto, and Naruto liked _Gaara_ (goddammit, Dobe, what the hell is wrong with you), and he had no idea what to do (because while Sasuke lived his life not giving a shit what other people thought, apparently that wasn't the right attitude to have when you were trying to win someone over).

Who cared, because it was better than working with _Rock_ _Lee_ of all people.

Sakura recruited Ino to find their helper, partially because she knew a wider group of potential allies, and partially because she wanted to be apart of this whole mess. Ino asked both Shikamaru and Choji, who both refused (they thought the plan was stupid, and didn't want to insult Naruto).

Ino's third option (for some reason) was Lee. And unlike the other two, he unfortunately agreed.

Lee's immediate response was strong, unyielding enthusiasm. "How amazing! How youthful! The thought of Sasuke and Naruto coming together, united — "

"Yeah, okay, fine," Ino interrupted. "But will you do it?"

"Of course!" Lee said, practically bouncing on his feet. "I must go and tell Gai Sensei right away!"

"No. You aren't telling anyone."

"…Not even Gai Sensei?"

Ino shook her head, her expression firm. " _Especially_ not Mr. Maito."

"…Oh." Lee shook his head, a smile reappearing on his face. "Well, that only means I'll have an even more youthful and hip story to tell him once this is all over, and Naruto is where he belongs, wrapped in the loving arms of Sasuke — "

This was around the time that Sasuke re-entered the scene.

"What the actual fuck."

"Sasuke!" Lee exclaimed, beaming at the horrified teen. "I wish you luck in your endeavours! How brave of you, how — "

"Sakura — _what?"_ Sasuke turned to Sakura, who was standing next to him, and staring at Lee with a mixture of incredulity and horror.

She leaned to Ino. "You asked _Lee?"_

"I was running out of options, okay?" Ino hissed back. "Besides, this'll be fine."

Sasuke stared blankly ahead and wondered, not for the first time, what the hell he was doing with his life.

"Now!" Lee grinned enthusiastically. "What will I be doing?"

Sakura stared at him for a moment, looking like she was debating whether or not to continue. Sasuke tried to catch her eye and convey a silent message — _'no fucking way am I doing this'_ — but she focused her attention on Lee, and gestured towards where Naruto was standing at the other end of the courtyard.

Sasuke glanced over briefly and swallowed; he really needed to get this sorted out. It felt like ages since he'd spent time with Naruto, and of course, every moment he wasn't there, Naruto was probably off with _Gaara_ , and —

Ugh. No. He wasn't thinking about that.

Sakura sighed. "Do you see Naruto over there?"

Lee nodded rapidly.

"Well, all you need to do is walk over there and — "

" — Come up with an elaborate plan to make him realise his undying love for Sasuke?"

"Uh, no…just tell him how ugly you think his jumpsuit is."

Lee's smile faltered. "What?"

Sakura shrugged. "Yeah. And make sure it's really mean, okay?"

Lee stared at her, his eyes wide, no longer looking as happy with his role as he had been previously.

"And then Sasuke will come over and punch you."

"Oh."

(Yeah, that enthusiasm was definitely gone).

"Yeah…" Sakura coughed, and shifted slightly. "Are you okay with that?"

Lee shrugged, looking uncertain. "I…don't want to hurt Naruto's feelings…"

"Well yeah, but…it's for a good cause," Sakura said. "He might be hurt for a bit, but he'll get over it, and then Sasuke and him will be together."

"And they'll be really hot," Ino added.

Sasuke grimaced.

Lee stared at them for a moment longer, his expression thoughtful. "So what you're saying is…my sacrifice will not be in vain? That, from my pain, something truly beautiful will flourish?"

"Uh…" Sakura's brow furrowed. "…Yes…?"

"Yup, exactly!" Ino said quickly, smiling at Lee. "Naruto and Sasuke will be completely in love, and it'll be all thanks to you."

 _'Oh fucking god, why?'_ Sasuke thought, as he watched Lee's terrifyingly enthusiastic expression return.

"Then how could I say no to that?!" the other boy cried, his eyes shining. "I will walk over there, and I will not give up until we have succeeded, and the love shared between Sasuke and Naruto is — "

"Just — go!" Sakura pushed him forward.

As Lee marched over, Sakura let out a relieved sigh, Ino smirked proudly, and Sasuke stared after him in horror.

"This is going to be _good,"_ Ino said.

...

It wasn't good. It wasn't good _at_ _all_.

Sasuke knew something was wrong as he walked towards the pair. Lee didn't look menacing (could Lee look menacing? Was that even possible?), and Naruto didn't look mad, or hurt, or even remotely like someone had just insulted his favourite possession.

In all honesty, Sasuke had been about to turn around and walk off, but Sakura had pushed him towards Lee and Naruto, telling him to _"Suck it up, and get what you want. Also check what Lee is doing, because SOMETHING is wrong about this."_

When he arrived, the first words out of his mouth (and probably part of the reason why the plan had turned to ultimate shit, although Sasuke would continue to blame Sakura, Ino, and (mostly) Lee for that) were:

"I thought you were supposed to be telling him how ugly that thing was."

(In his defence, it had been a _long_ day).

Naruto's face turned red. "What the hell, teme!" he yelled.

"Sasuke!" Lee cried, "That is an awful thing to say! I happen to think that jumpsuit is very youthful. In fact, I think I'll get the same shade in green."

What the absolute _fuck?_ Had that idiot _completely_ forgotten his role in this?

"You suck," Naruto told him, crossing his arms in front of his chest and scowling.

Lee's eyes widened. _"Oh!"_ he said. "I just realised that — "

 _'Oh Jesus Christ, I am done.'_

"For fucks sake, forget it," Sasuke turned around, and stormed off to where Ino and Sakura were staring at them in confusion and disbelief.

Sasuke walked right past them, not pausing for a moment.

Ino blinked. "…This is going to take a lot more work than I thought."

Sakura sighed.

...

Plan 3 - "Give him a little gift, to show how much you care."

"You want me to leave chocolates in his locker?" Sasuke asked, with (despite his best efforts to conceal it) a hint of scorn in his voice.

Sakura's glare told him that he'd done a pretty bad job of it.

"It just seems a little cliche," he said defensively.

"I know what I'm doing," Sakura told him, her eyes still narrowed.

Ino nodded enthusiastically. "I won over plenty of guys with that trick."

"…And yet you ended up with Sakura."

"Exactly!" Ino beamed, and wrapped an arm around Sakura's waist. Sakura nudged her playfully with her hip, and Sasuke inwardly gagged.

 _'Lovey-dovey crap. No way I'd ever be caught doing that.'_ He briefly thought of Naruto, the overly affectionate idiot, and decided that, if the two of them ever did get together (despite the efforts of that red-headed asshole) then it wouldn't be the same thing.

"Okay fine," Sasuke said, because being around these two was starting to feel a bit sickening (and not at all because it reminded him of his own loveless predicament. Nope. He was dealing with that just fine). "I'll put the damn chocolates in his locker."

He glanced at the box of chocolates that Sakura was holding, and grimaced. "Chocolate hearts? Couldn't it be something a little less…?" He gestured vaguely.

"You want this to be _romantic_ , right?" Sakura challenged.

Okay this was just annoying. Sasuke was tempted to walk away, and savour the look on Sakura's face when he told her all about how he'd gone up to Naruto, with no 'help' from her part, and told him…told him…

"Okay fine, I'll put the stupid chocolates in his locker."

...

The plan went about as well as he'd expected.

Naruto sat in his usual seat beside Sasuke during their maths class, shoved a very familiar box of chocolates into his hands, and said, "Here teme, have these chocolates."

Sasuke stared at him for a moment, then down at that stupid box of chocolate hearts, and snapped, "Fuck you, dobe."

 _"Detention, you little creep!"_ Ms. Mitarashi crowed, because apparently swearing wasn't allowed in her classroom unless she was the one doing it.

 _'What happened?'_ Sakura mouthed from two rows down.

Oh god, he was done.

...

"Wait, the chocolates were from _you?!"_

Naruto stared at Sasuke in shock, while the rest of their teachers looked on in interest, enthusiasm (Sasuke had been telling his story for a while, and while none of them knew what it had to do with the assembly incident, it was damn entertaining), and on Hiruzen and Danzo's parts, frustration and loathing respectively.

"Who else would it be?" Sasuke snapped.

"Well it's not like you wrote your name!"

"…Oh."

Well. That explained a lot.

Naruto glared heatedly. "And I only gave the chocolates back to you because I was trying to win you over!"

"…By giving me chocolates someone else had given you?"

"It's called re-gifting, teme! And besides, I did other stuff too! I flirted with you, I spoke to your brother, my friends — nothing _helped!"_

"…But you liked Gaara." Sure Sasuke was thrilled — if not _really_ fucking confused — that Naruto apparently felt this way, but…he was dating someone else. Right?

"No! I liked _you_ , teme!" Naruto glared at him. "And you've been an asshole, by the way, always ignoring me, and insulting my awesome jumpsuit — "

"It was hideous," Sasuke muttered. "…And I was trying to flirt with you."

"Kid's shit at this," Anko muttered.

" — and I _thought_ you were dating _Sakura_. I didn't think that you were…doing all this." Naruto looked away, looking slightly embarrassed.

Hiruzen coughed. "This is all well and good, boys. But I don't see how this has anything to do with what happened this morning, so maybe we can skip ahead — "

"But Jiji, you have to hear my side of the story first! And the teme needs to as well, so he stops being an _idiot_ and realises that I was never dating Gaara! And also that my plan was _way_ better than his, believe it!"

"Naruto — "

Danzo stood up, his fists clenched at his sides. "Hiruzen, for God's sake, this has gone on long enough!"

"Yeah I'm just going to tell you what happened," Naruto said, turning to Sasuke.

 _"No — "_

"So, it started like this…"

 **...**

 **AN:**

 **So, finally got the next chapter out. Hopefully you guys enjoy this, and tell me what you think! Also, when I finish up with this story, what other stories would you like to see in my "Modern AU" series?**


	3. Chapter 3

Maybe Gaara wasn't exactly an expert when it came to romance (or anything related to social interaction really), but Naruto didn't have many people to turn to at the moment, and the ones he _did_ were probably just as bad.

To his credit, Gaara did seem to be considering the situation with care and genuine interest.

"So…you think Sakura and Sasuke have been spending a lot of time together?"

"Yeah! Haven't you noticed it?"

Gaara shrugged. "I guess. I don't see why it's a problem though."

Naruto flushed. "Well, it's not a _problem_ exactly, but I just think — "

And then, of course, the rest of his friends had to join in. Discussing these things in the middle of their Fantasy Roleplay Club meeting probably hadn't been the best idea, but Naruto hadn't been able to hold it in for much longer.

He felt like a jerk; Sakura was his _friend,_ he shouldn't have been jealous of her. He should have been happy for her and the teme. _Should_ being the key word because who was he kidding — there was no way he could just sit back and be happy for them. That would take time. And work.

Lots and lots of work.

"What's up?" Yugito asked, glancing at him and frowning slightly.

"Yeah, turn that frown upside down, yo!" Bee said, nudging Naruto lightly on the shoulder.

"He's upset because Sasuke has been spending too much time with Sakura," Gaara told them. Naruto's cheeks flushed and he shot his friend and incredulous stare.

"Ah, _no,_ that's not it," He laughed awkwardly and rubbed the back of his neck.

Gaara blinked. "But you just said that."

 _'GAARA!'_ Naruto shrugged weakly. "Yeah, but…that's not what I meant." Sure, that was _exactly_ what he meant, but he didn't want everyone knowing about it.

The rest of the group — all of whom were now staring in their direction — exchanged knowing glances. Naruto averted his gaze and sank back in his chair.

"It's _not_ what you're thinking," he mumbled, feeling his cheeks growing warmer. "I'm just…pissed off because the teme skipped our ramen meet up at lunch today. That's all."

Yugito rolled her eyes. "Just tell him how you feel."

Naruto shook his head quickly. "I don't feel anything! And — besides, he's with Sakura."

Just saying that aloud hurt more than he wanted to admit.

Yugito snorted. "Pretty sure he's not. I don't know if you've noticed, but I don't think your friend is interested in the opposite sex."

"Huh?"

"He's _gay."_

 _"Sasuke?"_ Naruto shook his head. _"_ No, he's not."

The group exchanged a series of incredulous stares, much to Naruto's irritation.

Fu leaned forward, her eyes wide. "You should just _tell_ him Naruto! He's your best friend right? He'd understand."

"He's a bit of an asshole," Yugito shrugged. "But you obviously like him for a reason, so…"

"Yeah but Naruto likes everyone," Fu said, frowning thoughtfully. "Maybe he should go for someone else."

"But Naruto likes Sasuke," Gaara argued. His voice remained flat, and one would have thought he was entirely uninterested if he hadn't been actually contributing to the conversation.

"Hmm, Sasuke has a brother doesn't he?" Yugito mused. "Looks just like him, _and_ he's way nicer."

"Nah, he's dating that weird blue haired friend of his."

"Oh my god, _what?"_

"Guys…" Naruto said weakly.

"Shouldn't we be roleplaying?" Gaara interrupted, and Naruto could have kissed him right then (if, you know, he hadn't caused this whole mess in the first place).

Fu grinned. "Oh yeah, I forgot we were huge nerds! Back to business guys."

Naruto slumped back in his chair, too exhausted to feel relieved. Well _that_ definitely hadn't helped.

…

Sasuke was acting weird.

Lately he seemed to be going out of his way to avoid Naruto, which was pretty annoying. In Naruto's opinion, Sasuke was just living up to his nickname and being the teme they all knew him to be. And then he went and insulted Naruto's jumpsuit, and oh, _that_ one really grated on his nerves.

And the whole time, he and Sakura seemed almost glued at the hip.

 _'Well of course they are, they're dating,'_ he thought glumly.

He tried to put it out of his mind. If Sasuke wanted to be a jerk and forget about Naruto just because he was dating someone, then that was _his_ loss. Naruto wasn't going to lose any sleep over it (at least that's what he kept telling himself).

And then Kakashi approached him.

…

Naruto thought Kakashi was pretty damn cool. He was a close family friend, practically a big brother to Naruto, and he'd always idolised him a bit.

At this moment though all he wanted was for Kakashi to _shut the hell up._

"So you've been pretty down lately," Kakashi said, eyeing Naruto in his usual lazy manner, "so I asked your friend Gaara what was wrong, since you seem to be hanging out with him a lot lately. And he told me that you were in love with Sasuke."

Naruto's eyes widened and he shook his head hurriedly. "No! That's not what I said! Gaara doesn't know what he's talking about!"

Kakashi ignored him and instead reached into his backpack, puling out a small book. He held it towards Naruto.

"You should read Icha Icha. It'll give you some pointers."

Naruto — who by now knew all about Kakashi's strange reading choices — yelped and took a step back.

 _"No!_ Don't read that! Kakashi, stop being a fucking pervert, Naruto, get away from that book _now!"_

Naruto looked up as two people hurried in their direction. He recognised Kakashi's best friend and Sasuke's cousin, Obito, immediately from the sound of his voice. As they arrived beside Kakashi, both of them panting, he realised that the other person was the last member of their trio, Rin.

Obito crossed his arms across his chest and scowled at Kakashi. "Stop corrupting the kid! No one wants to read your stupid book!"

"Naruto," Rin said, smiling sweetly, "I heard about what's happening and — maybe you could try chocolate?"

Obito nodded hurriedly. "Yeah! Chocolate! Chocolate is perfectly normal."

Kakashi snorted. "Stop acting like you know what you're talking about."

"Shut _up,_ Bakashi!"

Naruto shook his head hurriedly and held up his hands, almost in a defensive gesture. "No, no, chocolates work fine!"

Kakashi sighed. "Fine, but if you need some help — "

"Ah, no, I'm fine."

Rin sighed, shooting Kakashi a look that was a mixture of amused and exasperated, while Obito eyed the book in Kakashi's hands through narrowed eyes.

…

He tried to put it out of his mind, but Kakashi's advice had made it very hard to ignore the Sasuke situation. There was no _way_ he was reading Icha Icha, but maybe he could brainstorm some ideas. It couldn't hurt; Sasuke was barely around as it was these days, so if Naruto did permanently screw up their relationship then that meant it was really the _teme's_ fault, right? Or…something like that.

It was worth a shot at any rate.

He tried to remind himself that he was Naruto Namikaze, and he _never gave up._ He repeated this mantra in his head as he tried to brainstorm ideas.

An hour later — and after a series of illegible scribbles and scrapped ideas — he mumbled a weak "I'm Naruto Namikaze and I…never give up," and buried his face in his pillow.

Why did this have to be so _hard?_

…

He was _still_ _not giving up._ Sure, his plans were on hold for a bit until he happened to come up with a brilliant idea — and he _would_ come up with something. There was inspiration all around him, and so what if everyday he didn't make a move, Sakura and Sasuke just got closer and closer, and probably fell more and more in love —

Oh god, oh god, _oh god._

"Naruto?"

Naruto glanced up from where he'd been staring vacantly at the inside of his locker, his eyes wide and horrified, and he must have looked pretty bad judging from the way Itachi's expression creased in concern.

Itachi looked _a lot_ like Sasuke. Obviously the universe was out to get him. Naruto really wanted to curl up in a corner and cry.

"Are you alright?" Itachi asked, frowning as he studied Naruto's face.

"Uh — yeah!" Naruto laughed and rubbed the back of his neck. "I'm just — uh — books! I'm getting my books. For maths. That's all."

Itachi still looked worried but nodded his head. Naruto inwardly sighed in relief. "Alright then. I wanted to talk to you, if that's alright?"

"Yeah sure thing." After all, just because Sasuke was being his usual jerky self didn't mean Naruto had to be rude to Itachi.

Itachi hesitated before continuing. "Look, Obito told me Kakashi was helping you win Sasuke over — " Naruto paled and shook his head, " — and he told me to tell you that, whatever you do, do _not_ read Icha Icha."

"That's not what's happening!" Naruto said, still shaking his head. "I — Sasuke and I are friends!" Even if the teme was being a huge jerk and kept ignoring him for some reason. "And I would never read Kakashi's pervy books! No way!"

Itachi's shoulders slumped and he looked more than a little relieved. "That's good. I also wanted to —

"Oh _there_ you are!"

Itachi stiffened and he let out a muffled curse.

There were a series of hurried footsteps and then a small group of older students were gathered around Itachi. Naruto recognised them as Itachi's friends — Sasuke was always complaining about them, but Naruto didn't think they were that bad. Really weird and a bit insane, sure, but some of the coolest people he knew were weird and insane.

"I told you to wait for us before you spoke to the kid!" Deidara complained, slinging an arm around Itachi's shoulders.

Itachi winced and shrugged him off. "Could you not — "

Deidara turned to Naruto — who was starting to think that maybe weird and insane wasn't such a good thing after all — and smirked. "If you really want to get Itachi's annoying little brother's attention, you need to do something _big!_ I'm thinking explosions! It's artistic and — "

"Explosions?" Hidan cut in, rolling his eyes. "What the fuck Deidara, this isn't a Michael Bay movie." He turned to Naruto, who'd been scouring the area for a quick exit route (they were _surrounding_ him). "I'm thinking a blood sacrifice."

Deidara snorted. "What sort of suggestion is that?"

"You could give him a gift," Sasori said. "I know a very nice puppet shop — "

"Puppets? What are we, in first grade?"

"Shut _up_ Hidan, I happen to this Sasori made a very good suggestion." Deidara smiled at Sasori, who inclined his head slightly in acknowledgement.

Hidan's eyes widened. "Ooh, how about — "

"All of you, shut the fuck up." The blue haired one — Naruto couldn't remember his name, but Sasuke was always complaining about him hanging around his house too much — snapped, glaring at the rest of the group.

Itachi sighed in relief. "Thank you, Kisame." He gave Blue Hair — Kisame, apparently — a small smile, which he returned. For some weird reason, Deidara and Hidan made a series of gagging noises.

Naruto just wanted them all to leave. He wasn't sure when his relationship — lack of relationship, whatever — with Sasuke had suddenly become everyone else's business.

Itachi turned back to Naruto. "Okay, ignore all of those idiots — what I _wanted_ to say was — "

Naruto perked up slightly. Sure, this was really embarrassing, but Itachi was super smart. Maybe he'd actually be able to give some good advice.

" — just be yourself."

His shoulders slumped. Yeah, like _that_ was going to work.

…

Yeah being himself was definitely out of the question. He'd been himself since the first day they'd met and the stupid teme had never noticed him in that way. For someone so smart, Itachi could really be clueless when it came to things like this. Naruto guessed that was why he'd never dated anyone.

He ended up talking to Lee about it, after running into the older boy in the cafeteria lunch line. Lee was pretty cool, and he _had_ complimented Naruto's new jumpsuit, so obviously he had very good taste.

Lee — after listening to Naruto's struggles with a strange look in his eyes that Naruto doesn't think to question; this _was_ Lee after all, and he was kind of weird — told Naruto that maybe he should try flirting with Sasuke.

Naruto considered this and decided that it wasn't a horrible plan. He wouldn't normally try something like that, and the whole point of this was to be as out of character as possible, right? Then Sasuke would notice him.

His first attempt at flirting failed horribly. Sasuke stared at him for a moment and asked if he'd had too much sugar again.

"I've only had ramen today!" Naruto snapped.

Sasuke blinked and nodded. "Oh, that makes more sense."

…

Apparently trying to win Sasuke over was an impossible task because _nothing_ he had tried was working. The bastard had even rejected chocolate. _Chocolate._ Who the hell could refuse chocolate? Obviously there was something very wrong with the teme.

He'd found a box of chocolates in his locker — chocolate hearts of all things, which were pretty cheesy, but girls liked receiving them, and Naruto had always thought the teme was kind of pretty in a stupid, smug, bastard-like way — and had assumed Kakashi, Obito and Rin had left them there for him to give to Sasuke. Obito had been pretty insistent on chocolates after all.

That sure had worked, since all Sasuke had done was look at the box of chocolates and say "Fuck you, dobe."

So yeah, apparently none of this was working, and Naruto, for one of the few times in his life, was actually considering giving up.

…

Sasuke blinked. "So you were trying to flirt?"

 _"Yes."_

"Wow you are…really bad at that."

Naruto scowled.

Hiruzen groaned and rubbed his forehead, and Danzo let out a noise of anger. "Isn't anyone going to stop them?!"

"No," Anko said simply, her eyes still glued to the train wreck in front of her.

Hiruzen sighed and waved a hand dismissively. "Just let them finish." They'd gotten this far after all, and by this point he just wanted to be done with all of it.

The other teachers leaned forward, eager to hear what would happen next.

Naruto scowled and crossed his arms in front of him. "I don't know why you thought I liked Gaara."

"You're always around him!"

"Yeah, because he's my _friend!_ We're in roleplay club together."

Sasuke swallowed and averted his gaze. "I, uh, didn't know that. I thought…" He flushed and shook his head. "And apparently you thought the same thing about me and Sakura!"

Naruto scowled. "Yeah, well, how was _I_ supposed to know that you wanted to date me?! You suck at this!"

"So do you!"

Hiruzen coughed, interrupting their argument before it could go much further. "Boys, as interesting as this is, I really think we should talk about what happened at the assembly."

Danzo's expression darkened. "Yes — disrupting a school event, causing a scene — "

"It was a declaration of love!" Naruto protested. "…My mom suggested it."

Hiruzen sighed. "Of course Kushina did."

 **…**

 **AN:**

 **So I've FINALLY got this chapter out. Sorry for the long wait! Hopefully you guys enjoy this :)**

 **Also, since there's only one chapter left in this, are there any other pairings or storylines you'd like to see in this collection? Because I'm definitely planning on expanding this modern!AU universe, and I want to focus on more characters and pairings than just Kisame/Itachi and Sasuke/Naruto.**


	4. Chapter 4

"Okay, what's wrong?"

Naruto glanced up from his plate of untouched food. His mother staring at him, her hands posed firmly on her hips.

He shrugged. "Nothing."

Kushina shook her head. "Nope. Nuh-uh. You know I won't fall for that, mister. Something's wrong, and I want to know what!"

Naruto sighed. He loved his mum, but right now this was the last thing he wanted to deal with. "Nothing's wrong."

Kushina's eyes narrowed. "We're having ramen for dinner and you're pushing it around your plate, instead of stuffing your mouth like you _should_ be doing." Well, she did have a point there. "Something's wrong. Even Minato knows it."

His dad — who had been looking at Naruto with wide, concerned eyes, and nodding along to his wife's words — blinked and asked, slightly offended, "Wait, what do you mean, 'even Minato.'

Kushina snorted. "Sweetie, I love you, but you're so oblivious."

"I'm not oblivious!"

"Aww, you're oblivious about being oblivious."

 _"Kushina."_

Naruto slumped back in his chair, and continued to watch his parents. Well, as long as they weren't talking about him anymore —

Kushina turned back to him. "Honey, something needs to be done!"

Well, so much for that.

"You look sad, and I hate seeing you look sad, so that's reason number one. And reason number two is that you're wasting good ramen - and if you were in a normal state of mind, you'd _understand that!_ And — reason number there! Your Dad and I were going to have hot, steamy sex after this, and I can't focus if I'm worried about you!"

 _"Kushina!"_

 _"MUM!"_

"What?!" Kushina said defensively, as Naruto and Minato stared at her in mortification. "I'm stressed, okay?! You know I overshare when I'm stressed!"

Yeah, well now Naruto was grossed out. He did _not_ want to think about his parents doing _that._ Ever. And now he was even more miserable than before, so thanks for that Mum.

Mintage rubbed his forehead. "Naruto."

"It's _fine!"_ Naruto snapped. "I'm just…er…going through some stuff. With friends. That's all."

"Friends huh?" Kushina leaned forward, her expression suspicious. "You mean Sasuke."

Naruto stiffened. "Uh, no — "

"You — " Kushina's eyes widened. _"Oh!_ Minato, go grab by baseball bat. I'm going to go give Fugaku's son a piece of my mind."

Minato groaned. "Kushina, what are you doing?"

Yeah, that was a very good question, but Naruto was too busy staring at Kushina in horror to really say anything.

 _"Obviously_ that little shit has done something to hurt my baby, and I'm not going to let him get away with it," she said, a dangerous glint in her eyes. "I mean, don't get my wrong, I totally ship Naruto and Sasuke, because, hello? Sasuke's great, and he's _Mikoto's_ son. But right now, he's being _Fugaku's_ son, and that means I need to go and whack him on the head a few times until he realises that he's being a jerk."

"Sasuke didn't do anything!" Naruto said, his eyes widening in horror. Oh god, if she did that he'd never be able to show his face around Sasuke ever again. And Naruto had no doubt that his mum was fully capable of it.

Kushina crossed her arms. "Oh yeah?"

"Yeah!"

"And you're not attacking anyone Kushina!" Minato added firmly.

Kushina pouted. "I wouldn't hit him _hard_ or anything! Mikoto would totally kick my arse if I did."

Naruto sighed. As much as he'd like to forget about everything that had happened, he really needed to get his mum off his case. It'd be kind of hard to stop Sasuke finding out about all this if she went and attacked him with a baseball bat.

"I'm just upset because…Sasuke's got a girlfriend. And it's tough. And I was trying to get his attention but…he's not interested."

Oh great, and now both his parents were staring at him with sad puppy eyes.

"But that's okay! That's _totally_ okay! I'm too good for the teme anyway, and being single is completely fine! It just gives me more time to eat ramen. Plus, he insulted my jumpsuit the other day! We're _way_ too different to ever work out — imagine the kids! I'd be all "we're painting the baby's room orange" and _he'd want to paint it black!_ It'd never work!"

Kushina flapped her hand dismissively. "Orange and black stripes — easy. Naruto, you are _not_ giving up! Sasuke _loves_ you — Mikoto and I have both seen it. We've been dreaming of this day since you boys were born!"

"We'll support you, no matter what," Minato said, shooting his wife a warning look.

"Yeah, obviously. But you you can't give up this easily!"

Naruto sighed. "I've tried everything. Chocolates, flirting…it doesn't work."

And his flirting had been _so damn good._ Clearly the teme just wasn't interested.

"Well _duh,"_ Kushina said. "Sometimes it takes more than that. Sasuke's kind of dumb when it comes to these things, so you need to make a grand gesture. Something _huge!_ Something public! Something — "

Minato sighed. "Kushina, no."

"Oh come _on_ Minato! It took you gallantly rescuing me — "

"You fell on my head and gave me a concussion."

" — to realise how much I loved you!"

Naruto frowned. "You want me to fall on Sasuke's head?"

"Yes!" Kushina clapped her hands together, smiling widely. "But if that doesn't work, then I have the perfect idea. I even wrote a fanfiction about it once!"

Naruto leaned forward, grinning slightly. His mum put _a lot_ of effort into her fanfiction. Naruto should know, he'd helped her edit a few of them over the years. Maybe this could actually work.

Minato sighed, gazing at his wife and son with an expression that was both fond and very worried.

…

He couldn't do it.

It wasn't that his mum's advice wasn't _great —_ in any other situation, Naruto was sure it'd work. But Sasuke didn't like him that way, and Naruto was pretty sure that this would all blow up in his face.

That, or Sasuke's fist would blow up in his face.

Either way, he really didn't want to find out.

His mum's words rang out in his head — _"Make a grand gesture. Stand up in a really public place…you have assembly tomorrow, don't you? Minato, shut up, this is a GREAT idea, okay? So yeah, stand up in front of EVERYONE and tell Sasuke how much you love him. If that was a romantic movie, that'd be the moment that you guys got together, and the credits would roll before the honeymoon period ended and all the fighting, and awkwardness, and potential break ups came around…"_

Naruto glanced around the hall. There were _a lot_ of people here, and the thought of being rejected by Sasuke in front of all of them…ugh. Yeah, no, he couldn't do it.

He slumped back in his chair, fidgeting nervously. Gaara, who was seated beside him, shot him an inquisitive glance that he chose to ignore. Sasuke was somewhere in the hall, probably next to Sakura. The two of them hadn't seen much of each other lately, which was probably another reason not to do this.

Only about ten minutes had passed since the assembly had begun, which meant that there was still close to an hour to go. Naruto wasn't sure he could last that long. He could barely sit still in his seat, the thoughts whirring in his head. He could just wait, ignore his mum's advice, and steer clear of Sasuke for the rest of his life…sure, it'd suck and he'd probably get really fat from all the ramen stress-eating, but he could deal with that. Sasuke was still a huge jerk, and he couldn't stay hot _forever,_ right? And jumpsuits still came in extra large, so who cared if he got really fat?

…Except Sasuke was probably one of those people who aged really well, and would eventually become one of those guys who looked thirty when they were really seventy. And sure, jumpsuits came in extra large, but _what if they ran out of his size?_

Naruto stood up abruptly. "Uh, I have something I need to say."

Danzo shot him a furious look (which, in all honesty, really wasn't that terrifying. Naruto had always thought his angry expression made him slightly constipated, which was actually really funny). "Sit down!"

"No! I need to do this!"

"Naruto, what are you _doing?"_ Hiruzen demanded. Naruto wasn't exactly sure why he wasn't on stage instead of Danzo (Danzo was only vice principal after all), but he guessed it was because Danzo liked hearing the sound of his own voice, even if no one else did.

"Making a grand gesture!" Naruto said, hurrying up to the front of the hall. He could feel everyone's eyes on him, and tried to ignore them. If he backed out now…well, he had no idea how this was going to go, but he'd probably never forgive himself if he didn't at least _try._ Plus, he was Naruto Namikaze, and when did he ever take the easy way out?

He climbed onto the stage, ignoring Danzo's furious protests. He could deal with the fall out later — right now he needed to get this over and done with, preferably before he puked in front of the entire school (and he was wearing his favourite orange jumpsuit for good luck, and he _really_ didn't want to get vomit all over it. He loved the teme, but there were _limits)._ "There's something I need to say! I tried to do other things, but nothing's worked, so I'm doing this instead."

The entire staff and student body stared back at him, too confused to do or say anything.

"I have feelings for this guy who is a really good friend of mine, and - well obviously I'm telling him now. Well, I guess I'm telling everyone. But — " He glanced at Sakura, who was looking more than a little horrified, and froze. Oh God, what was he _doing?_ Sasuke was dating _Sakura,_ who was actually a really good friend, even though she could be pretty terrifying at times. He couldn't do this to her, even if he really, _really_ wanted Sasuke. Except maybe having Sakura mad at him wasn't the end of the world…maybe she'd get over it? That's if Sasuke didn't just reject him outright, which was probably what was going to happen anyway, so —

Sakura jumped to her feet. Beside her, Ino did the same. "Oh, _hell_ no!"

Crap, crap, _why_ had he listened to his mum?

Suddenly it wasn't just Sakura and Ino who were standing, but Itachi's entire group of friends, who had surged up and started yelling— _"You can do it!" "Tell him how you feel!" "Go, you little blonde freak!" "Someone get me some dynamite so I can REALLY get this atmosphere going!"_

Itachi sat slumped over in his seat, his head buried in his hands and muttering something under his breath.

"Oh shut up, would you?!" Sakura snapped, glaring at the group.

"No, _you_ shut up!" Oh great, now Fu was standing up, with the rest of his roleplay friends nodding along in agreement. "Let Naruto speak!"

"I think Sasuke needs to tell him something first!"

"Actually no," Gaara interjected, "Naruto was speaking first. I think we should let him finish."

Ino snorted. "Well we all know why _you'd_ want that."

Naruto stood frozen on the stage, staring uncomprehendingly at the commotion. Yeah, this definitely wasn't what he'd had planned. He hadn't even _considered_ this. All his worst-case-scenarios had involved Sasuke either storming out of the room, tackling him off the stage (in a totally non-sexual way, unfortunately) and punching him repeatedly, or Sasuke declaring his love for Sakura and giving her a painfully long kiss, and then possibly getting down on one knee and asking her to marry him.

Naruto's had planned for all of those (he'd run away and eat as much ramen as he could until he exploded). He had _not_ planned for this.

"That's _it!"_ Danzo roared, storming over to Naruto. "Go to the Principal's office, _now!"_

"Sasuke needs to tell you something!" Sakura yelled. Naruto risked a glance at Sasuke, and, oh God, he looked _mad._

Sasuke didn't move, just sat there and continued to look angry, and Naruto could feel his heart sinking. Danzo was also getting closer, and he should probably get a move on if he wanted to find a suitable ramen restaurant. Death by ramen wasn't a pretty good way to go in Naruto's opinion.

Except, well…he'd come all this way, hadn't he? He'd made a complete fool of himself in front of the entire school, in front of _Sasuke,_ and if he just left it here, he'd probably never forgive himself. And was he really going to let the teme stop him from doing this? The guy was pretty much always angry anyway.

He took a deep breath. "Sasuke…I really like you. And not just as a friend, teme. As…more than that. Uh. That's all."

He jumped off the stage, ignoring Danzo's furious howl, and hurriedly walked towards the exit.

He was too busy staring holes into the ground to hear a pair of hurried footsteps coming towards him (and even if he had, he probably would have expected Danzo, on his way to murder him). He felt someone grab his arm, and turned around to see Sasuke standing there. He didn't look angry anymore, which was either a good sign, or a sign that he was on his way to having a mental break down, because Naruto didn't think he'd ever seen Sasuke's eyes looking that wide before.

"Dobe, wait," Sasuke said, slightly out of breath.

"Leave me alone," Naruto said, shrugging him off. "I get it, you don't feel the same way. I just…needed to tell you that."

Sasuke looked frustrated. "Would you just let me — "

"I think I'm going to go and bury myself in some ramen now. I need comfort food. Um — I'll talk to you later, okay?" Because maybe Sasuke didn't want to end their friendship after all. He had come after him…and he didn't seem nearly as angry as he had been before. "I don't want to ruin our friendship or anything. You're a jerk, but I still — "

And then Sasuke was kissing him. It took Naruto a moment to realise that no, this wasn't some weird method of suffocating him to death — Sasuke was _actually_ kissing him.

Sasuke pulled away, and Naruto responded in the only way he could think of: he punched him in the face.

Sasuke reared back, clutching the side of his face. "What the hell, dobe?!"

Before Naruto could react, Sasuke had pulled his fist back, slamming it into the side of his face. Pain exploded in his jaw and staggered back.

"Ow! Teme! What was _that_ for?!"

"You punched me!" Sasuke snapped, rubbing the side of his face.

"You kissed me!"

Sasuke glared defiantly. "Yes I did! And if you didn't like it, you could have just said so!"

"Of course I liked it teme!" And now Sasuke just looked confused. Well, Naruto sure as hell wasn't going to let _him_ have the last kiss. He stepped forward, grabbed Sasuke by his collar, yanked him forward, and slammed his lips against his.

And, oh yeah, that felt great. Best kiss he'd ever had (he'd only had two, the other one taking place barely a minute before); he was actually prepared this time, and he wasn't about to punch anyone in the face, and it was with _Sasuke._

Mum was right — kissing _was_ almost as good as ramen.

"You're an idiot," Sasuke murmured, once he'd pulled away. His hands were still clutching him close, and even though Naruto had no idea what the hell was happening, he _really_ didn't want him to let go.

Sakura was probably plotting his murder though. He'd worry about that later — and there _would_ be plenty of worrying, because Sakura was actually terrifying.

There was a small smattering of applause, and then some more, and suddenly the whole room joining in. Naruto pulled away slightly and saw that everyone was staring at them, with more than a few people on their feet. Most people looked enthusiastic (although Naruto wasn't sure how many of them were actually happy for them, and how many were just glad for a break from Danzo), some looked confused, and some looked murderous (Danzo).

Naruto didn't really have much time to contemplate how everyone else was reacting, because a second later a sudden burst of loud music had him rearing back. It took him a moment to recognise it as Unchained Melody, and another moment to realise that Gai had hijacked the speaker system.

"Yosh!" Gai cried, his hands clutched to his chest, "we need a romantic soundtrack to go with this moment! And Ghost was such a youthful movie!"

"I agree!" Lee cried, jumping to his feet.

"Oh Lee!"

"Gai-sensei!"

"Lee!"

" _Gai-sensei!"_

"What the _hell?"_ Sasuke muttered.

Still standing on the stage, Danzo let out a howl of rage.

Naruto blinked. "So…this is corny."

"Agreed."

"And this music is really, uh…" Naruto squinted. "Wait, are they dancing?"

Sasuke pulled away slightly. "Want to get out of here?"

"Yup."

They turned around, ready to leave. Things were really confusing, and Naruto had no idea what the hell had just happened, but…he was happy. Sasuke had _kissed_ him, and it'd felt great, and he really, really wanted to go somewhere and talk about this, and then maybe do a little less talking, and a little more of…other stuff.

They never really got around to doing that, because the moment they'd turned around, Hiruzen was standing there, with Danzo peering over his shoulder, his expression thunderous.

Yeah, they probably wouldn't be getting out of here anytime soon.

…

"…So yeah. That's what happened."

Everyone stared.

"Probably wasn't the best time to do it but…I was making a grand gesture, right? Oh and I definitely didn't expect everyone to get up and start yelling like that…guess Sakura and Ino thought I was confessing to _Gaara,_ how crazy is that? And then everyone else probably thought Sakura was trying to stop me telling Sasuke how I felt…" Naruto shrugged slightly.

"Aww," Anko said. "It's so cute that it's making me sick."

"It is pretty sweet," Kurenai said, after a brief moment. "You never did anything like that for me." She narrowed her eyes at Asuma, who shrugged awkwardly.

Hiruzen rubbed his hands over his face, and let out an exhausted sigh. "Boys — the next time you want to make an…announcement, remember that the Hall, in the middle of assembly, isn't the place to do it."

Danzo nodded his head furiously. "Yes! And using the speaker system like that — "

"Oh, that was me," Gai interjected. "Quite a youthful idea, wasn't it?"

Danzo spluttered.

Hiruzen's hands dropped to his lap, and he let out another exhausted sigh. "Right then. You could've just stuck with the last part of that story."

Sasuke shrugged slightly. "I'm…glad I got to hear the whole thing."

Naruto smiled. "Yeah."

The two of them stared at each other. Sasuke glanced away first, but Naruto could see a slight smile playing a the edges of his lips, despite his evident embarrassment. His own grin widened, and his desire to get out of here, so they could finally be on their own, was suddenly intensified.

Hiruzen. "Don't do it again."

There was a pause.

"Um…and…?"

"…Detention, tomorrow."

Sasuke blinked. "And that's it?"

Hiruzen nodded.

 _"What?!"_ Danzo looked incredulous. "You can't — there has to be more! Surely this is enough to expel them!"

Anzo snorted. "What are you serious? _Expel_ them? For that? What have you been smoking?"

Danzo's head snapped towards her, his eyes wide with rage. "Why are you all still here?!"

"Entertainment."

 _"Hiruzen!"_

"Boys, you can go now," Hiruzen said. "But I mean it — next time, find somewhere else to do it."

Naruto grinned. "Thanks Jiji!"

He reached down and tugged on Sasuke's hand. Sasuke glanced at it, and then slid his fingers through Naruto's.

"We should go," he said, quietly. "And, uh…talk."

Naruto nodded quickly, grinning. "Yeah _obviously._ We've got a lot to talk about. And also, what the hell, teme? You punched me!"

"You punched me first!"

Hiruzen coughed loudly.

The two paused and then shot him equally sheepish glances. They then got up and walked out of the room, still close to each other.

"So yeah. Let's go talk," Sasuke said, and Naruto nodded. "…Although I think we got most of it out of the way in there, didn't we?"

Naruto grinned slightly. It was still crazy to think that Sasuke actually liked him. That all those things he'd done to win Sasuke over…Sasuke had been trying just as hard. And now, after all of that, just when Naruto thought he'd lost his chance for good…here they were. Together. And Sakura wasn't going to kill him, so that was definitely a bonus.

Although he was _definitely_ getting him back for punching him. There was no way Sasuke was getting away with that (even if Naruto _had_ technically punched first).

He spared him another glance, and flushed slightly when he saw Sasuke looking at him. Sasuke quickly averted his gaze, and Naruto grinned.

That could come later. Right now, there were way more important things to focus on.

 **…**

 **AN:**

 **IT'S FINALLY DONE! Man, this chapter took me ages to finish. But I've FINALLY got it done, and I'm so glad :) Hope you enjoyed this as much as I enjoyed writing it, and tell me what you think!**


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